Chances are, even if you didn’t grow up in Washington D.C. in the 1980s, you know who Ian MacKaye is. Somehow his music or his influence has crossed paths with most everybody. MacKaye, made famous by fronting the hardcore punk bands Minor Threat and Fugazi (among others), visited the Riverside Art Museum on October 19th [...]
Margo: I dont know much about you kevin
Me: I am mysterious
some have even called me mystery itself
Margo: ooo
Me: yeah
i know
chicks dig a mystery
nancy drew was a whore, read between the lines
Margo: you should write a novel about yourself
Me: I should…it would be called “How I Put it in Nancy Drew’s Encyclopedia Brown”
Me: what’ve you been up to, sir?
Rennie: reading this book about cambodge
Rennie: sort of
Me: cambodge?
Rennie cambodia
Me: yeah
Me: that’s what I thought
Me: haha
Rennie c’est le nom francaise
Rennie: anyway yeah
Me:: ah, ouias
Me: I didn’t know if it was some crazy faction I was unaware of in cambodia
Me: a bunch of 5 foot 2 fuckers that fight in [...]
Me: you should see Wall-E
it’s incredibly awesome
Meline: i’m going to
heh
Me: he makes my heart destroyed
Meline: in other words….
Me: in other words he is cuter than two babies blowing a puppy
Meline: ah.
Rebecca:
Me: i know it’s supposed to be tongue out, but it still reminds me of blood
Rebecca: lol
Me: like that’s the emoticon for a battered wife
Rebecca: :-!
Marie: i knew a kid that played halo for about 18 hours straight right after it came out
he shit himself
and sat in it for about 10 minutes before he did anything about it
Me: oh god
the great part about it is this:
it’s a “noob” game, if i must use the gamer argot
it’s the da vinci code [...]
Me: Sorry, wireless is on the fritz
Dan: i like “on the fritz”
I say it
it’s like a wily german came in and fucked with your stuff
“what the… man, fritz got my iPod”
Me: CITIZEN FRITZ…*shakes fist
(Conversation with my roommate about a girl we know who he claims has “tentacles” in or around her vagina)
Roommate: Yeah man, I mean I turned my back for one second, and the entire piece of pizza was gone. I’m convinced that she’s got tentacles coming out of her vagina, and that’s how she eats. [...]
A woman, near 38, walks up to my register.
“I’m looking for a special kind of dictionary for my son” she says. “I need a dictionary where you can look up one word, and it shows you words that mean the same thing.”
“You mean….a thesaurus?” I say.
“Yes, one of those, where are they?”
Mike: hey funny story
my dad works with some really stupid fucking people
conservatives
Me: yes
it happens
Mike: his boss sent a mass email to all of his company
it was a forwarded message based on miscellaneous “news” articles that suggested that Obama was a sleeper cell for al quaeda
and thats why he’s running for president
no joke
Me: oh god
Mike: much [...]
